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Gay Dating

The gay community consists mainly of single people, recent surveys state. As many as nine out of ten gay men do not have a partner but are either open to the idea of a serious relationship or actively searching for someone worthy of commitment. If you’re one of the numerous gay singles interested in finding a dependable partner, gay online dating sites are an option well worth considering. Being easy to use and accessible, gay dating websites also offer adequate opportunities for gay guys who are merely looking for casual fun. No matter what your final goal is, the recipe for successful online dating as a gay man is being open, honest and upfront about your interests and preferences. 

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Top-6 Gay Dating Sites In 2020


Long before the establishment of the well-known gay hookup sites, Adam4Adam was already one of the major gay finders offering single men the opportunity to find a gay romantic relationship, one-night-stand or friendship. This platform has been successfully operating in the gay dating industry since 2003. For all these years, the website remained true to its main rule: free-of-charge access to all services and features for all users without exception.

While most gay dating apps and websites make money from selling premium memberships, Adam4Adam places third-party ads on its platform. The advertisements are relevant to most gay men – porn sites, sex stores, remedies for sexual dysfunctions. In addition to the social networking component, the users of Adam4Adam are offered the services of a sex store with a varied arsenal of items for solo and couple use, and an entire section dedicated to cam shows delivered live.


As an international dating website, Zoosk can boast of incredible diversity in the ranks of its members. Close to 30 million people of different ages, religions, races, and cultures visit this platform in search of love and happiness. As such, it has created millions of couples, including gay and bisexual ones. Its matchmaking features are quick to process your requests and easy to use, which is why this dating website is the choice of many gay men. If you don’t want to limit your search for a perfect partner to just one location, here you have an excellent opportunity to meet gay singles from 80 countries of the world. Worth noting, Zoosk does not envisage options for finding partners for participation in polyamorous or non-monogamous relationships. You can try out this top gay dating site’s features for free, and if you fancy its efficiency, you can purchase a premium membership starting from $12.50 a month.


If the goal of your search is a long-term partner who can boast of a high level of education and culture, EliteSingles is the optimal gay dating site for your needs. In statistical terms, approximately 85% of its users attended college, hold corresponding degrees of tertiary education, and are employed professionally. Naturally, the userbase of this gay dating site is smaller in comparison with competitive platforms. From 280,000 to 320,000 people visit the pages of EliteSingles every month. That being said, the matches offered by this dating website tend to have an incredible rate of success: under its aegis, over 2,500 users successfully communicate and arrange dates every month. Try it yourself – the signup procedure and the personality test are free and available to everyone. With a paid membership (from $18/month), you will start receiving daily matches based on your stated preferences.

This portal boasts of the largest database of online daters in the world and receives just under 14 million visitors every 30 days. Besides, it is home to a sizeable community of LGBT singles. In particular, among the premium members of, there are nearly 1.1 million gays searching for long-term relationships. The advantages of this portal are not only its spotless reputation and inviting atmosphere. It also implements a huge arsenal of usability and matchmaking features for the utmost convenience of every member. The statistics are inspiring: as the largest dating website, it has facilitated the formation of more gay friendships, relationships, and marriages than any competitor in the online dating industry. Creating a profile is entirely free-of-charge; once you get acquainted with the site’s interface, the database of users and matchmaking features, you can purchase a premium subscription at a monthly cost of $21.


This is one of the most popular apps in the world of gay dating. Even straight people are largely aware of its existence and purpose. Officially, Grindr proclaims itself to be an application intended for social networking among non-heterosexual men. In practical terms, the networking comes down to just one thing – gay hookups. Fill out your profile with photographs that show off your body, add your parameters – and you will promptly get showered in thirsty pickup lines.

In addition to the grid of cute twinks and sexy bears available for hookups, Grindr runs a digital magazine “Into” intended for the queer audience. In addition to finding a man for a one-night-stand, you can receive the latest news regarding the gay community and the popular culture. Any man can join Grindr for free, but $20/month can get you an XTRA membership, which allows you to narrow down your search by introducing additional filters.


This website was founded nearly a quarter of a century ago. Having established a solid presence in the gay dating world, it has not put as much effort into updating its visual constituent. Despite the lack of a cutting-edge facelift, the simple and straightforward design provides ample opportunity for you to meet gay men with similar interests. Many see its lack of bells and whistles as an advantage. However, the dated design may be a suboptimal solution when it comes to the matters of attracting new and young users. The userbase of GayFriendFinder consists mostly of older gay men and couples who are interested in finding friends or meeting other couples and groups for sex.

According to reviews, the userbase of GayFriendFinder is rather slim in comparison with other gay dating sites. Joining the platform is free for everyone, but the opportunities are very limited. If you want to unlock all useful features, you have to purchase a Silver or Gold Membership, which costs $23 and $35 a month, respectively.

The State Of The US Gay Dating Scene

Gay dating, both online and offline, has been on the rise in the recent decade. It’s fair to say that in 2019, finding a partner as a gay man is the easiest in history. With the gradual liberation of the American society from homophobia and prejudices, LGBT singles have better chances of meeting a soulmate, forming a relationship and settling down as a committed couple. The biggest cities of the nation, such as San Francisco, New York, and Washington DC, naturally have the most populous and boisterous gay scenes. If you’re lucky to live in a large metropolitan area, you will likely not even need to resort to the online dating options. You’ll get to enjoy a variety of entertainment venues and interest groups that cater to the gay audience and provide ample opportunity for meeting gays as friends, flings, and romantic partners.

However, the overall inspiring statistic may not reflect truthfully the trials and tribulations of dating on the individual level. If you haven’t had any luck in the dating world for a while or if you’ve just come out of a failed relationship, it’s easy to develop a gloomy, pessimistic attitude. But no, long-lasting relationships between loving partners are not an urban myth. And you don’t have to be a handsome boy with a perfect body and a fat wallet to find love. Push these grim thoughts away! There plenty of good men out there who are looking for a partner just like you.  Don’t let a temporary dry spell in your dating record sink you into despair. Instead, make the first step toward meeting your soulmate by resorting to the best gay dating sites.

Issues In The Gay Dating Culture

With the technological advancements made since the beginning of the 21st century, the hookup apps have created a real revolution in the dating culture of gay men. As a new networking line with excellent opportunities for quick meetups, applications of this kind have created a shift in the previously established US gay culture. Casual sex with a nearly perfect partner became available at just several taps of your finger. This has led to the objectification of men even on the best gay hookup sites. You’re no longer viewed as a person, and your worth is determined mainly by how attractive your body is. 

The gay community has always had a strong focus on appearance in the choice of a partner, but the issue has reached an enormous scale in the present day. This puts a lot of pressure on gay men, especially younger ones, to be hugely concerned about their appearance. Common is also the fear of aging and the notorious “gay death” which is said to occur at the age of 30 years. But the most important consequence of the wide availability of sex upon the gay culture is that the value of long-term relationships has decreased in the eyes of many men. Why stay with one partner for life when you can have a new one every night? Moreover, it’s not uncommon for gay guys who are already in committed relationships to search for new sexual escapades on hookup apps.

In many ways, online dating is easier than the real-life thing for many gay men. But it’s not devoid of drawbacks. Being aware of the ongoing issues in gay dating culture is the first step to avoiding hurtful experiences and finding a perfect partner with the same interests and long-term goals. 

Reasons Why Gay Dating Is Hard

  • Ubiquitous jealousy. Recent studies have shown that men are far more jealous of their romantic partners than women. Building a strong, committed gay relationship can be difficult when both partners frequently have a suspicion of each other’s unfaithfulness. When both men are emotionally strong, the jealousy can lead to conflicts and eventually destroy the budding relationship. However, this issue isn’t a valid reason to give up on gay dating, as you and your boyfriend can overcome it by open and honest communication. 
  • Fear of commitment. You will meet a lot of decent guys on dating sites for gays, but the sad truth is that many of them do not have the emotional readiness to enter a committed relationship. If you’ve successfully battled this fear yourself, share your experience with your partner. Be prepared to see him go through an emotional crisis while trying to overcome this challenge.
  • Emotional scars. The fear of commitment described in the above passage usually stems from the man’s previous painful romantic experiences and failed relationships. Many gay men struggle to heal their emotional scars and carry this burden into new relationships. Decide for yourself what kind of person you want to see as your partner and whether you’re prepared to deal with someone’s emotional baggage.
  • Lack of motivation to form romantic relationships. The gay community is prevailed by the belief that a man does not need a husband. Of course, there is a place for casual fun in the dating world. But things will never work out for the best if one guy wants a solid relationship with potential for marriage, while the other takes no interest in such things. Once again, communicating openly and honestly is crucial to avoid a painful mismatch.

Tips For Gay Online Dating

  • Broaden your search criteria. Gay men are known to be very picky regarding potential partners. You hear a lot of guys complain about being unable to find a perfect mate or getting ghosted after the first date. More often than not, what prevents a gay man from succeeding in the dating world is that his search criteria are too narrow. If you have the image of your ideal partner prescribed to the tiniest detail, it may be preventing you from meeting many great men. Broadening the criteria of your search can help you find a partner faster.
  • Display a positive attitude. As was said above, gay men know what exactly they want, and this prompts them to devote a passage in their dating profiles to what they dislike. Everyone is free to have their preferences, but many gays tend to exclude certain groups in a borderline rude manner. Avoid filling your profile with negative statements, such as “not into”. Instead, your profile should tell the world what activities you enjoy, what kind of person you want to date, and what makes you a good partner.
  • Avoid fetishizing or being fetishized. The issue of excessive fetishization is ever-growing on the most popular gay dating sites. The hookup apps have made sex readily available, and many of its users reduce men to a selection of stats and parameters. While efficient in finding a sex partner for the night, this approach is wrong for many reasons. When you use criteria such as height, muscles or skin color as the foundation for your search, you objectify the person you meet. No one wants to be defined by one feature or parameter. Try to see what your potential gay date has to offer as a person.
  • Don’t focus on your date’s past. Many gay guys have a high “body count”. But your potential partner’s wild past should not be on your mind when you go on your first date. Try to see him only in the context of your relationship. The period that preceded your first meet-up was a barren wasteland that doesn’t deserve your attention.
  • Learn to take rejection maturely. Getting rejected a jot is the sad reality of any dating world. Don’t let it get to you. Very few people find a suitable partner in the first person they invite on a date. It will be easier for everyone if you learn to handle rejection like a champ, even if the guy was less than polite about it. Remember, there’s still plenty of fish in the ocean of gay dating, and every rejection takes you a step further to meeting your perfect man.

Top-5 Reasons Why Gay Men Prefer Dating Online

For many people, a lot of stress is associated with making new acquaintances and friends in real-life situations. The more so to gay men who may not be out to the world yet and are likely to face homophobia and even hatred if they approach a wrong man. The world of online dating temps gay guys primarily with high reliability and safety. They say the best relationships start from making a move on the person you fancy in real life. But this statement is hardly correct, and as a gay man, you are going to have difficulty guessing whether the guy you find hot is interested in dating a man. Of course, there are entertainment venues that target the gay audience, but they often put a lot of pressure on the gay man to be highly communicative and outgoing. By choosing one of the available online dating options, gay men get to enjoy a range of associated advantages:

  1. Even if you’re using a dating website or app that targets both LGBT and heterosexual audiences, you can adjust the filters to your preferences. And thus you can be sure that every profile you see on your grid belongs to a gay man.
  2. Most gay dating websites have impressive databases of users. You can look through thousands of gay personals and narrow down your search by introducing additional parameters and preferences.
  3. If you’re open and honest about your preferences and goals (a relationship, a hookup, a group to share a kink with), you are likely to promptly meet people interested in the same activities.
  4. If an online conversation ends in rejection, it will not hurt your feelings as much as being turned down in a real-life setting.
  5. Online dating gives you the tempting opportunity to chat and go on dates with multiple men. You can take your time in deciding which one of them you want to give your heart.

Bottom Line

Gay male meeting sites are preferable for many gay men due to the range of advantages they offer. It’s relatively easy to find a partner with the same interests if you’re upfront about your needs and desires. Before diving into the world of online gay dating, determine your final goal. Choose a gay dating website depending on what you’re looking for – a hookup, someone who shares your kink, a casual date, or a serious relationship with potential for marriage. Despite all the pros of online gay dating, you’re likely to encounter a range of issues that stem from the peculiarity of the gay dating culture in the US. But if you maintain a positive attitude your search for love and happiness is bound to be crowned with success!

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